Recently, I came across a book that began changing my life as soon as I started reading it. It’s amazing, and I hope that I can convince you to go out and pick up a copy yourself.

It’s called “Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting - the astonishing power of feelings” by Lynn Grabhorn. You can get a copy from Amazon, your local bookstore, or even your library. (That’s where I picked it up.) There is also an audio version, though it is abridged.

I’ve got (lots) more to say about this. This book is having a profound (and positive) affect on how I am managing my life right now. I’ll save all that for another post. For now, please, go out and get this book. It’s wonderful.

Here’s someplace to go if you’re looking for fun and interesting things on the Web. It’s called ForeverFun. Once you’re there, you can go to their Archive and poke around all their past postings. There’s some unbelievable stuff - most of which with the potential to make you smile.

Here are a few of my favorites:

• LIVING
• Gadgets
• Cool Cars of the Future
• Illusion Ads
• Curiouser and Curiouser

Have fun!

I’ve heard the title of this post used many times as an insult. It often implies stupidity, as if smart people can’t be bothered with simplistic humor. A baby or young child is easily amused. In adult circles, it is frowned upon. (How ironic is that?) Complex, ‘intelligent’ humor is commonly a prerequisite for a good, (and more importantly) valid bout of laughter.

Obviously, not everyone thinks this is true, but let me take this opportunity to strongly disagree with those who do. And with that, I’ll make an admission of my own.

I am easily amused!

I smile when I see a cute kid at the store. I laugh out loud at Lucille Ball’s slapstick antics as she tries to escape whatever trouble she’s gotten herself into this time. I crack up when someone makes an accidental pun. I laugh long. I laugh loud. I laugh hard. If I produce a genuine snort, or even better yet, tears, so much the better.

Here’s a suggestion: Go look for things to laugh about. Find the humor in everything you see. I bet you’ll find lots of things to laugh at. People might look at you funny, but so what? Consider yourself a real success if one of those ’strange lookers’ busts up just watching you. Maybe they’ll laugh at you? Again, so what? At least you’ve created a smile instead of a frown.

You know you’re not stupid. You know that you can appreciate a good, complex, intelligent guffaw. Now let’s see you laugh at something simple. Something silly.

I guarantee, if you make this a habit, you will feel better in general. You won’t be able to help yourself.

Power to the Easily Amused!

LOLOL!

We found the neatest book for Sunshine some months ago. It’s a picture book by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer called Incredible You! 10 ways to let your GREATNESS shine through. It’s fantastic. It’s a pint-sized, colorfully illustrated, explanatory list of positive methods for dealing with life. Based on our conversations with him, I think the one that has impacted Sunshine the most so far is #6: Change your thoughts to good.

Another really neat thing about this little picture book (and, by the way, the illustrations by Melanie Siegel are precious and fun) is that, at the end of the book there are questions to ask one’s self. Just a couple nights ago (’coincidentally’ when I was feeling pretty blue myself) Sunshine requested that we go over these questions rather than read a bedtime story. By the time we were done, my heart felt like it was going to explode. It was wonderful.

Here’s my favorite question (and the one Sunshine spent the most time discussing):

If someone or something makes you feel sad, embarrassed, or angry, what do you do to make yourself feel better?

I love how this question helps kids to see how they are ultimately responsible for their thoughts and feelings, and can therefore do something proactive about them. It gives them power that I believe they can apply for the rest of their lives.

This book was written with a young child in mind as audience, but the statements it makes and the questions it asks are relevant to all of us. Try answering the above question for yourself and maybe you’ll see what I mean.

Due to my refusal to dwell on negatives, I can see where many people who don’t know me (and perhaps even a few who do) might think that I have this depression thing licked. Without putting any real energy on it (and thereby breaking my own boycott) I will tell you that, to this point in time, mood swings still affect my life. My determination to keep my face to the light is one of my solutions to that problem.

I used to believe that it would help me to express my feelings of doom and gloom to other people. I used to believe that maybe, if others knew the depth of my pain, that they might be able to help. I used to believe that smiling when I felt sad would lead people to believe I was okay when I was not. I used to believe that focusing my energies and thoughts on joyful things when I felt so awful was a dishonest use of my time. I used to believe that I could only be genuine by reflecting my anguish out to the world as accurately as possible.

None of those things are a part of my belief system anymore. The main reason for my change of opinions: After years of dedicated practice, I have proven with absolute personal certainty that they do not work.

It turns out that people are smarter than I gave them credit for. First of all, no amount of smiling or cheerfulness ever misled anyone who cared for me into believing that I felt good when I didn’t, and no matter how much anyone knew that I hurt, everyone was doing as much as they could to help me. What’s more, reflecting my grief into the world only served to make the world uglier. It did nothing to keep my integrity intact. In fact, there is no veracity in ignoring the truth - and that truth is this: No matter how bad things were, they were never the worst they could be. Therefore, no matter how badly I felt, there was always - always - something good going on. Even if it was something as simple as my continued ability to breathe, there was always something positive that was just as real and just as valid as my pain.

To top it all off, I realized that my philosophies did nothing for my credibility; they only served to show what a complainer I could be.

So I quit it.

And I began to feel better.

Yet, there are still days like today. They come (seemingly) from nowhere. There is (as yet) no discernible reason for these blue times, and I never know how long it’s going to last. I keep track of them in my daily stats, but that’s all most people are going to hear about these feelings unless I’m directly asked. And even then, the conversation is likely going to end pretty quickly with: This will pass.

The best news is that these blue spots don’t last anywhere near as long as they used to. Before, when I had the philosophy I described above, I felt bad almost all of the time, and I felt acutely terrible for (literally) months on end. Now, I can be sure that I’ll be feeling better any minute, and I haven’t had an acute blue spell last for more than a couple of days in a few years now.

So what does a person do during times when they feel really badly, but have adopted a policy not to spend time and energy focusing on those feelings?

Well, at first, my list was short:

1. Play a video game (or some other mindless activity).
2. Sleep until it goes away.

It’s a little lame, I know, but it was better than nothing. And those two things got me through some rough times before I was strong enough to start lengthening my list.

I’m happy to say that my list has since grown. If you are having a rough time, feel welcome to try some of these things. They help me cope, and I am now convinced they actually shorten the duration and severity of my pain. Maybe they’ll help you too.

1. Repeat the words, “This will pass” over and over.
2. Pray.
3. Watch a funny movie.
4. Do any of the assignments in the Joy Immersion Project.
5. Think of the good things in my life.
6. Write a gratitude list.
7. Do something nice for someone else.
8. Play with a child, or a kitten, or a puppy.
9. Help someone else see what good there is in life.
10. Read something of a spiritual nature.
11. Play a game.
12. Do some artwork.
13. Listen to upbeat music.
14. Call a (positive-focused) friend.
15. Remind myself that I may feel better any minute.
16. Exercise.
17. Write a list of all my blessings.
18. Change focus anytime my mind wants to dwell on the negative.
19. Help someone else solve a problem they are having.
20. Practice being in the moment.
21. Contribute something - anything - positive to the world around me.
22. Repeat the words: “All is well” or “It’s going to be okay.“.
23. Make a list of things that help me push through a blue spot.
24. Start at number one, and get busy until it’s over.

I already feel a little better. (Isn’t that a miracle!)

If you have ideas to add to this list, I am always interested!

Steve Pavlina posted a fantastic challenge back around Thanksgiving of last year. I didn’t see it at the time, and I think that it’s a challenge worthy of propagation at any time the year, so I’m passing this on to you now.

INSTANT CHALLENGE:

First, go and read Steve’s post on giving as a source of joy and then take his challenge.

…Sometime within the next couple days, I ask you to perform one small act of kindness … Do something that isn’t a big sacrifice for you but which will make a positive difference for someone else. Offer a few words of praise, an encouraging letter, a small gift, a little favor … Don’t be concerned with how the other person may react … Even one kind gesture makes a difference. What will you do to help make life just a little better for someone else today?

It doesn’t matter what your situation is, you can always give. Even if you’re bed-bound, you can give thanks to a caregiver. (Appreciation is worth the weight of all its letters in gold!) In fact, it’s been my experience that the most powerful gifts are those things that I myself need at the time. Feel discouraged? Give encouragement. Feel alone? Give companionship. Feel afraid? Give courage. Feel sad? Give a smile.

There are an endless numbers of simple ways to give, and as Steve pointed out, you’ll probably never know what affect your kindness will have, but one thing’s for certain: It’s a step in the right direction, and every step counts. What’s more, once you experience for yourself what power giving has, you might find yourself addicted to it.

What would the world be like if we all got addicted to giving to others what we ourselves need most?

Seriously. Let’s try it and see.

Lots of people question the origins and purpose of days like today. There are lots of folks that believe that holidays such as Valentine’s Day are little more than commercial money-machines for card companies and chocolate factories, and some even consider the day as a personal attack on those who don’t have a current “Valentine” in their lives.

While I can see the logic and thought process behind these ideas, I believe it’s possible to make a day like today meaningful and joyful regardless of whether or not we have a mate - or the money to buy overpriced cards and chocolate. In fact, I believe that we each have the power to define a day like today - and any other, for that matter.

Regardless of what anyone tells you, today is your day. From my perspective, today is my day. So, if it’s my day, I get to make of it anything I like. I’m not the least bit obligated to spend it doing what others think I should. So, given that, how will I spend a day in which I am sure to be bombarded with images of hearts and flowers?

Well, living in the belief that I am responsible for creating my day, I choose to do everything I can to honor and promote the ideal that Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love in all forms.

• Today, I choose to appreciate the inherent beauty of each flower I see.
• Today, I choose to smile every time I see a heart, even if it’s on a commercial billboard. (Smiling is free!)
• Today, I choose to pay special attention to loving myself.
• Today, I choose to be kind and loving to people - even those I don’t know personally.
• Today, I choose to do something kind for myself.
• Today, I choose to be thankful for everything good in my life, regardless of whether it’s big or small.
• Today, I choose to ignore those things that I do not have in my life and focus on what I do have.
• Today, I choose to wish everyone around me love and joy.

We are only limited by our own imaginations and willingness to give. I know that some readers of this blog are more or less homebound due to illness. Others have no “significant other” to call Valentine. The beauty of love is that such limitations do not impair one’s ability to share it. If you’re reading this, you have access to the Internet. Try sending an “I love you” to someone - or twelve someones! These people can be anyone. Brothers, sisters, caregivers, friends. You name it.

But most importantly, today let’s make Valentine’s Day about loving ourselves. Today, I choose to give myself the love that cannot be given by others. Today, I choose to be the love I desire from others.

I wonder what will happen if lots of people make these same choices.

Anyone want to help me find out?

Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone. May you experience all the Love and Joy you have to give.

I’m happy to announce that Assignment #9 has been posted. As with all of the assignments in the Joy Immersion Project, this one should be done in the order it was posted. If you have completed Assignment #8, then now is the time to swing over to the JIP main page and check out the new assignment.

My goal is to get all of the assignments up as soon as I can, and that does not necessarily reflect how quickly folks should get through them. More important is that you do the assignments to the best of your ability without skipping or “cherry picking”. So, if you’re just getting started, don’t feel pressured by what I hope will be my frequent updates to the program early this year.

As with all the other assignments and posts on this site, your feedback is welcome. This is a work in progress, and I’m doing my best to make these assignments and essays accessible to all people in all circumstances. If I write something that you find impossible to apply because of physical disability or some other situation I did not foresee, please drop me a line or comment. I may be able to help you (and others) get around limitations, or make modifications to instructions so that they apply more readily to more people. I value your input.

For reasons I explained in a recent post, I have decided to back off some on my public participation in this project. However, I am still taking part privately at 100%, and in the case of Assignment #9, I may have to make an exception and share some pictures.

Here’s a shocker: I have cats!

There is a fascinating little article over at SixWise titled How Does the Way You Think Impact Your Health? It is based on the idea that we attract into our lives what we think about and focus upon the most. (Sound familiar?) Some preliminary studies have shown some astonishing results that back up this claim.

I guess SixWise is going to be putting out a six-part series on the subject.  You can check back there periodically, or if you want to, you can subscribe to their newsletter to be sure you get the info as it is published.¹ I like their newsletter because it seems like they put out a lot of (free) practical information about things that can make my life better. Not too many deals out there that are better than that!

As for the theory that my thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs affect my health, well, you all know that I strongly believe it. My belief is based largely on personal, anecdotal evidence though, so I can’t expect everyone to just decide it’s true because I have. But think about this: If there is even the possibility that my thoughts and attitudes affect my health, wouldn’t it behoove me to avoid negativity and practice positive thinking? What do I have to lose? What might I potentially gain?

1. The SixWise links, including the subscription, are external and are not related to stacycats.

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